


Peace

by the_bait



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drarry, Fluff, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, One Shot, Post-Battle of Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 13:21:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18572332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_bait/pseuds/the_bait
Summary: Draco and Harry sitting on a bed, talking about feelings and their history together.





	Peace

**Author's Note:**

> my masters is killing me but my mental health is slowly improving so i guess im good. wrote this in one sitting while watching film 1, 2 and 3.

“The first time I saw you, when I knew who you were. I was…not upset, exactly. Angry, more like it. I didn’t understand why you would refuse to be friends with me but you were with Weasley. I didn’t understand why anyone would deny my company. I had money, my family was well known. I just…It’s stupid. You must understand I regret all of it. Absolutely all of it. Second year, when I insulted Granger, I knew, deep down, I was wrong. Calling her that left a bad taste in my mouth, like I wasn’t supposed to be saying that but all my life I heard my father say that and all I ever wanted was to be like him and-“

“You apologized to Hermione already. You said you were sorry about all of it.”

“I know. But I feel like I didn’t explain it to you. I’m not making excuses for myself. I’m just telling you what I felt and why I felt the need to say those things. Third year, when you fell off your broom because of the Dementors, I was,” Draco paused, “I was confused. I couldn’t understand why you would faint when faced with them. They were horrible but I knew there was no one as strong as you so what was happening? Also, my heart might have stopped for a bit when I actually saw you fall all the way to the ground. I knew Dumbledore had cushioned the fall but I thought you had broken every bone in your body.”

Draco took a deep breath and looked out the window of the dorm room.

“Fourth year…Fourth year I knew. That I didn’t like girls. That I had a crush on you. For sure, I knew. And it ate away at me. I hated myself for a very long time. All throughout that year I hated you, and Cedric, and Granger, and every stupid person that made you compete in that Tournament. And then, at the end of the year, when you appeared with Cedric, after the Task, I just. I didn’t know how to deal with everything I was feeling, it was too much. And then I went home and Father-” He ran his hands through his hair and let his eyes meet Harry’s. “I knew he was back. I knew. I thought about you every day that Summer. I thought, for sure, Father would know, that he would see it in my eyes, the way I was always thinking about you.”

“That Summer was filled with doubt and terror for me, to be honest.”

“I can’t even fathom how scared you must have been but for me, I always thought my Father would make everyhting alright, would keep us safe, that nothing would ever touch me. But at the same time, I knew. They were out to get you. And it made me very confused. You know I’ve always been spoiled. I didn’t know how to make these two things work, my feelings for you and wanting to be kept safe and still feel pride at everything my Father was doing. It was so confusing.”

“Fifth year I never felt so alone. No one believed me, my friends were turning their backs on me, I had dreams about Voldemort, I told you. I thought everything was ending, I was drifting apart from everyone.”

“And then you and your friends go and fight him and the Death Eaters.”

“Well, yes.”

“You lost your godfather.”

“I did.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’ve learned to live with it.”

“I was so angry. You’d put my Father away at Azkaban. I hated you for a long time after that. And then I was called to be Marked. I felt proud, you know?” He gave Harry a sad smile and then avoided Harry’s eyes. “I thought, there is no way I’m ever acting on these feeling, I might as well do what I’m told.”

“You looked terrible that year. I was following you around all the time. Hermione and Ron were going crazy with me.”

“You were right about me, though. I lived that entire year scared and anxious and hating myself. I knew I could never kill Dumbledore. All the times I attempted to do that, I was scared out of my mid. All the people I hurt in the process… I wished for my life to be over loads of times.”

“You never told me that.”

“I did. I thought there was no way out of it. I could never kill him, I could never go to you for help. I thought, well, might as well end it.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry said, reaching for Draco’s hand. “You came through in the end, though. You did help me. You helped me, in you house, and then your wand.”

Draco shrugged, “Yeah, but it didn’t feel like enough. It still doesn’t. You saved me. I never thought I would see the day you’d risk your life to save me.”

“I would do it all again.”

“And then, when Hagrid came out of the Forest carrying you-” Draco hold Harry’s hand tighter. “I thought that I might as well die then. There was no way I was living through all of that knowing you were dead. I was sure, throughout all of it, all those years, after he came back, that you would save us. You would defeat him, somehow. I was sure. And, in that moment, my whole world just collapsed.”

“But I didn’t.”

Draco smiled. “You didn’t, you brilliant git.”

“I told you why and how.”

“I know.”

Harry moved up the bed to sit next to Draco, still holding his hand.

“You came to save me again, during the Trials. My heart felt like bursting when I saw you.”

“When you came to thank me, that was the first time I thought maybe we could be something more than whatever we were. I thought I could help you, I thought ‘If there is anyone who knows what I’m feeling, it is Malfoy’”.

“Is that why you came to the Manor?”

“Yes. And why I kept trying to see you.”

“And why you badgered me into coming back to Hogwarts.”

“Well, that too.”

“I’m glad you did.”

“I’m glad, as well.”

“You do know that people are talking. I’m spending every waking moment in your room, and everyone knows.”

“I know. Does it bother you?”

“No, not really. Makes my stomach feel funny, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“How everyone looks at me. At us. Like I’m doing something right, you know? At first they stared like I had you under a spell, but now it’s like they’re jealous, not sure how to act, what to make of us. Honestly, half the time I don’t know either but it feels nice.”

“Gave them half a scare when we held hands the first time.”

Draco giggles. “I thought McGonagall was going to burst. I thought half the girls were going to tear me to pieces. Maybe some of the boys, as well.”

Harry rests his head on Draco’s shoulders. “I was really happy when you said you’d come to The Burrow with me.”

“Again, I was scared out of my mind.”

“But you did it.”

“I thought Molly was going to murder me.”

“She was wary of you.”

“As she should.”

“You came through.”

“I had fun.”

“I’m glad.”

“Can I spend the night?”

“Of course. Give them some more reason to talk.”

Draco just laughs.


End file.
